2 Months into Optometry School: Midterms Madness - Eyes on the Prize # 4

Read the Series:

Before Optometry School Starts - Eyes on the Prize # 1

It's Not Supposed to Be Easy - Eyes on the Prize # 2

Optometry School Week 2 Recap: More of You - Eyes on the Prize # 3

Opening Prayer Dear God, Thank You for the wonderful journey that is my life. I was born into so much privilege to be here. I was granted opportunities that other people could only dream of. I don't take it as a point of pride to say that I got here because none of this is because of me. Only You made my life this way, only You enabled me to get this far, and I will dedicate my life in service of bringing You glory. Lord, I'm sorry for the ways I mess up daily. I fall short. I forget You. I neglect our relationship. I forsake true glory for my own selfish desires. Forgive me, cleanse my soul, and make me renewed in Your everlasting waters. Thank You for Your loving kindness and forgiveness. I accept it wholeheartedly. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen. There's something about waking up everyday at 6 AM regardless of the day or your alarm. Your body is adaptable. I have changed not just physically but mentally too. They tell you that optometry school is a lot - but you won't know how much it really is until you get there - and you realize the material for your midterm is what you would've studied for a whole semester in undergraduate. You stay late at school to practice your skills. You go home and stay up late to study for lectures. You are constantly in a war zone, saved by precious moments of fleeting rest, before the next exam rolls around the corner and you forget which way is left and right. It is easy to be overwhelmed and defeated, yet for me, I want to hold fast to God in these moments of chaos. In the eye of the storm, I stand in the middle with Jesus hand in hand. The same God who brought me through this life and got me accepted into school in the first place will not abandon me now! Why would God leave me now or ever? That doesn't give God the glory or praise when this all works out. Recently I had this prayer, I won't go into finer details, but in this prayer I was given this imagination where I'm given the opportunity to take a break from my work as an optometrist, and I refuse despite having the means and legitimate reasoning to take time off. I explained that I love my job. It's meaningful to me. When I wake up in the morning, tired as I am, I am energized by the passion and the purpose that stands behind the choice I made to serve God in this field. We have to understand it doesn’t just matter what we do but how we do it. 1 Samuel 16: 7 says “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I hold onto this prayer as part of my future promised to me by God. That I will not only finish school, become an optometrist, and get a job but that I will have chosen this career based on my desire to please and honor God that would be abundantly blessed. I love that God can easily provide for me: He can get me through each exam, each competency test, each year, and get me to graduation without even lifting a finger. Do you believe that? Do you think God is able and capable and willing if it’s part of His will for your life? So ask for it! Ask for more out of your life. Of course, ask to pass your exams and for mercy from your professors - yet, consider asking for how you can do more for others, encourage the people around you, and be a light in the world. Don’t stop dreaming bigger for Jesus. I think God has been telling me that asking to pass my midterms or exams is too small. Think of all the exams I’ve had to pass before even getting accepted into school. God’s like “Been there. Done that. Let’s go for more, Grace. Is that all you think I can do? Help you pass exams? Don’t you want more? Haven’t we gone through enough that you know that’s not even the bottom of the barrel for what I can do?” I’ve been listening to this sermon series, Crazyer Faith, by Transformation Church. I highly recommend you watch it, but if you have the chance definitely watch the first part of the series, Crazy Faith, to really get the full picture of what actually walking with Jesus looks like! Are you bored of God? Bored of reading the Bible. Praying the same prayer. Attending church just to get your weekly “I’m Christian. Going to heaven when I die” checkmark off your to-do list. Critical of how broken and ugly the church is and just ready to leave it behind you. Living in the same pattern just with new faces, never able to own up to your own flaws because it’s everyone else’s problem to fix you, heal you, and owe you healing. Do you know why your faith is boring? Because you’re boring. Sorry, it’s true! You are the one limiting God when you look at your life satisfied. How can you ever be satisfied when our home is in the new heaven and new earth? How do you look at your life and say it’s fine that everyday looks, feels, and is the same? Why are you alive then? Why are you here? What are you living for? God is not boring. Proof: He made the whole earth, He parts the seas, He turns staffs into snakes (party trick), He turns water into wine, He brings dead people back to life (did you ever do that??), He gives sight to the blind, He turns sinners into saints, He makes donkeys speak, and He dies and comes back again so that we, who deserve death, have His place and standing before God. He didn’t just go take a break after that. He’s not on sabbatical. He’s not on a “detox/fast from toxic people (us)”. God is here. God is moving already. God is performing miracles. Healing ENTIRE families. Restoring ALL brokenness. Redeeming DEAD lives. Rescuing the lost. God is with us. God, who created the heavens and the earth, is with you. So, if your faith is boring it’s because you’ve put fences around what God can do. I know this because I do that to God, I beg for scraps of leftovers when God has a whole All You Can Eat buffet to offer me. I pray so little then wonder why I receive so little. I ask for the bare minimum and wonder why I’m hungry for more. In a physical sense, you probably eat 2-3 meals a day for around 30-45 minutes on average (maybe more or less). Sometimes you have a meal with a friend. Sometimes it’s to-go. Maybe you’re a big fast food person! What you feed yourself dictates how much energy and strength you have for the day and even affects your mental and emotional stability. We all start off eating baby food or breast’s milk, but eventually we all stop because our needs have changed, we have grown up now. We need more vitamins and nutrients. We need something to fuel our maturing bodies. Isn’t your spiritual life the same? You started off your walk with God by reading the Bible, praying, going to Church, youth groups, maybe in college you join a campus ministry, maybe a few missions trips, and then… Isn’t that it? Wait until you find someone tolerable enough to marry. Have some kids. A house. Retire. Well, you go to church on Sundays too. You tithe when you remember. You pray before eating family dinner. There’s bible verses on your walls. You’re good. Life is good. “Is this sarcastic, Grace? This sounds like a good life to me!” Uhm, that’s literally like being told you’ll be treated to a 5 star restaurant and ordering a single saltine cracker (no salt). It’s boring. It’s bland. It’s uninspired. It’s literally like the life everyone else on this planet basically wants in a sense sprinkled with a hint of the aroma of Jesus. Not even an actual sprinkle. Just like wafting the smell in the general area of your life. Stop being an adult eating baby food. No wonder you feel so weak. No wonder you crumble under the pressure of life. No wonder you think God is some entry ticket into heaven after you live life for yourself the next 80 years or so. God is so desperate for you to experience the fullness of life that He died for it. Not just “go to heaven when you die” life but full, overflowing, and richly abundant life. Life that’s exciting and meaningful. Life that is hard, that kills the person you thought you were and would be, and takes a 180 degree turn in another direction. Life that let’s God be God and you be you. So, to live that life: you gotta take the training wheels off. You gotta eat real food. To be clear, we aren’t saying throw the Bible out, stop praying, and never step foot into a Sunday service again. I’m also not saying this will happen overnight (but who knows? It could. God can be willing. Are you bold enough to ask?), but you need to stop doing the same things and expecting the same results. It’s insane to pray the same prayers or type of prayers and wonder why everything is the same if you haven’t changed or even want to change first. Change COMES from God but it STARTS from you! Life gets exciting when you decide to partake in God’s exciting plans. When you join in on the adventure and stop watching other people while you sit at the sidelines. That’s where the most happens. You will waste your life otherwise. You win only if you play the game, by the rules, and with the right heart and mindset. What’s next? As I finished my last midterm an hour and a half ago, I decided to also practice my retinoscopy skills and help my friends with their skills too! It is my joy to love people and share love with them. I am honored to be part of their lives and stories as a force of God’s goodness. As hard as school is, as tough as it all feels, it’s all so meaningful and purposeful. I am living out my purpose to be God’s daughter here at SUNY Optometry. I will never be a perfect person, but I will always push to be better, i.e. more like Jesus. I am not satisfied with good enough because of God’s promises for me to be more than a conqueror in this life and the next. I decided to sit down, catch up on some lectures I missed while studying for midterms, finish this two week delayed blog, and finally have a moment to sit and breathe with God. I know what’s next test-wise: a gross anatomy quiz here and a retinoscopy competency there. What God has in store for me in each of these seasons is different. Training me to trust, believe, and wait on His promises. Giving me opportunities to love and care for people in different ways. Having the faith to see out the dream He gave to me. What’s next is the rest of my life and all the joy of having God is going to Church, helping youth groups, maybe in college you join a campus ministry, maybe a few missions trips, and then… Isn’t that it? Wait until you find someone tolerable enough to marry. Have some kids. A house. Retire. Well, you go to church on Sundays too. You tithe when you remember. You pray before eating family dinner. There’s bible verses on your walls. You’re good. Life is good. “Is this sarcastic, Grace? This sounds like a good life to me!” Uhm, that’s literally like being told you’ll be treated to a 5 star restaurant and ordering a single saltine cracker (no salt). It’s boring. It’s bland. It’s uninspired. It’s literally like the life everyone else on this planet basically wants in a sense sprinkled with a hint of the aroma of Jesus. Not even an actual sprinkle. Just like wafting the smell in the general area of your life. Stop being an adult eating baby food. No wonder you feel so weak. No wonder you crumble under the pressure of life. No wonder you think God is some entry ticket into heaven after you live life for yourself the next 80 years or so. God is so desperate for you to experience the fullness of life that He died for it. Not just “go to heaven when you die” life but full, overflowing, and richly abundant life. Life that’s exciting and meaningful. Life that is hard, that kills the person you thought you were and would be, and takes a 180 degree turn in another direction. Life that let’s God be God and you be you. So, to live that life: you gotta take the training wheels off. You gotta eat real food. To be clear, we aren’t saying throw the Bible out, stop praying, and never step foot into a Sunday service again. I’m also not saying this will happen overnight (but who knows? It could. God can be willing. Are you bold enough to ask?), but you need to stop doing the same things and expecting the same results. It’s insane to pray the same prayers or type of prayers and wonder why everything is the same if you haven’t changed or even want to change first. Change COMES from God but it STARTS from you! Life gets exciting when you decide to partake in God’s exciting plans. When you join in on the adventure and stop watching other people while you sit at the sidelines. That’s where the most happens. You will waste your life otherwise. You win only if you play the game, by the rules, and with the right heart and mindset. What’s next? As I finished my last midterm an hour and a half ago, I decided to also practice my retinoscopy skills and help my friends with their skills too! It is my joy to love people and share love with them. I am honored to be part of their lives and stories as a force of God’s goodness. As hard as school is, as tough as it all feels, it’s all so meaningful and purposeful. I am living out my purpose to be God’s daughter here at SUNY Optometry. I will never be a perfect person, but I will always push to be better, i.e. more like Jesus. I am not satisfied with good enough because of God’s promises for me to be more than a conqueror in this life and the next. I decided to sit down, catch up on some lectures I missed while studying for midterms, finish this two week delayed blog, and finally have a moment to sit and breathe with God. I know what’s next test-wise: a gross anatomy quiz here and a retinoscopy competency there. What God has in store for me in each of these seasons is different. Training me to trust, believe, and wait on His promises. Giving me opportunities to love and care for people in different ways. Having the faith to see out the dream He gave to me. What’s next is the rest of my life and all the joy of having God in it.