Finding Favor in the Here and Now (day 4/7) - Blog # 30

 Finding Favor in the Here and Now (day 4/7) - Blog # 30

Read Part 1: the surrender (day 1/7) - Blog # 27

Read Part 2: Embracing out Grief: the Sadness of Saturday (day 2/7) - Blog # 28

Read Part 3: Carry the Burden: Community in Christ (day 3/7) - Blog # 29

Prayer:

Dear God, thank You for this day that You have made. We will be full of praise and thanksgiving, for You, O God, are Mighty to Save. God, by Your breath You breathe life into us each morning. You anoint our head in oil. You strengthen us in Your right hand. You hide treasures in darkness. You find favor in the humble and meek. You are close to the weary. You are life. You are love. God, we thank You. God, who is like You? There is no one like our God.

God, I humble myself. I have nothing to offer You, but my confusion, my mess, and my willingness to listen. I need wisdom. I need help. I need You to tell me what’s next, what’s in store for tomorrow, because I’m lost. I need light for my footsteps. I need a path to follow even if it only shows me inches above where I’m at now. I need You, Jesus.

God, the truth is following You comes with so many paradoxes. To die to ourselves is to live. To give up is to win. To surrender is to overcome. To lose is to gain. It’s difficult to understand You, but we need Your Holy Spirit to wash over us and give us insight. Share with us clarity. Breathe life into us. Help us to live godly lives for Your namesake and glory.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

The truth is that I don’t know where to go from here. From my “Saturday” (read Blog # 28). I know my Sunday is coming, but I can’t sit and wait. There are things to do. People to love. Lessons to learn. Songs to sing. Prayers to pray. Praise to shout. Tears to cry. There is life to be lived.

That doesn’t mean I’ll ever feel perfectly okay with my loss. It doesn’t mean it didn’t matter or that I don’t want what I want. It doesn’t mean I’ve given up just because I’ve continued going on. 

James 1: 5-8

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

In my mind, the point of wisdom is two fold: to settle between what’s wrong and what’s right then what’s good and what’s better. I’ve been reading this book, “God Told Me: Who to Marry, Where to Work, Which Car to Buy...And I'm Pretty Sure I'm Not Crazy” by Jim Samra, and it talked about asking God for wisdom on choices. It’s not like choosing either to be an accountant or choosing to be a rocket scientist is sinful, but God knows the better option.

God also gives us choice on who to date/marry, and as believers we are allowed to marry other believers of our choosing -- but to say God doesn’t have a preference or a “best choice” in mind isn’t true -- and we have free will from there. Wisdom is God’s guidance like we would ask a job advisor for what career path would suit us most. We would ask a doctor what the best treatment plan for our illness is. We ask our hairstylist what cut and color would fit us best. We always have the option to choose the other choice, but the option for expert advice from someone who knows and loves you is available.

God, in his infinite knowledge and wisdom, has answers for our questions. God wants to share, but there’s a catch: we have to want to listen and obey.

If you ask God for advice, but in your heart you’re set on doing things your way and by your confidence -- why would God answer? Why would God share what you’ll ultimately reject? God is a person too, He wants to be wanted, to be heard, and He won’t give you gold when you’ll just chase after the wind. 

God doesn’t want to hear your ingenuine requests for wisdom. It’s like when your friend asks you for advice only to never listen to it. God wants people who will ask and then obey. God can’t answer you if you don’t want to listen. You are blocking God from helping you.

So, as we deal with the here and now or the reality of our situation, we have to ask how we got here in the first place. We have to ask if we really did all we could to listen and obey God. We have to lay it all out on the table, be honest about the situation, and submit ourselves to Jesus’ guidance before we can continue.

We all have dreams, things we wished that would happen that didn’t or we realize that living the dream looks nothing like dreaming the dream.

We realize that the reality of our situation looks nothing like the promise God gave to us. We came out of Egypt: excited day 1, nervous day 6, frustrated day 14, grumbling day 19, and ready to turn back to Egypt day 23 when we were supposed to arrive in our promised land in weeks turns into years. 

I think the point of today’s blog is to encourage you that Point A to Point B will not be everything you thought it would be. Maybe you thought you’d be happier and further along on the path. Maybe you thought you’d have people besides you that left. Maybe you thought this would be a two week ordeal, but now it’s week 4 with no end in sight. 

I’m here to encourage you that just because it doesn’t look, feel, or seem like everything you imagined doesn’t mean you’re not on the right path. Just because the reality of your situation isn’t ideal doesn’t mean God didn’t put you here. 

“But Grace, how do I know that? What if it feels wrong because I put myself on this path? What if I’m here because I didn’t listen to God?”

Let me take this as an opportunity to console you: God understands. God knows your doubts and fears. God took into account why you decided to follow your own path. Maybe you were afraid of what would happen if you had faith. Maybe you didn’t want to disappoint people. Maybe you just wanted to do whatever you wanted at the moment. 

God understands, and He’s not mad. He’s not angry. He’s not unforgiving. He doesn’t hate you. He’s not going to turn His back on you, and in fact, He’s waiting for you to come back and turn around. He’s waiting for whenever you’re ready to welcome you with open arms.

How do we know this?

Let’s look at Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son:

Luke 15: 11-32 

The Parable of the Prodigal Son

11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father's hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’[b] 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”

Whenever you are ready to come back to God, He is ready to receive you back. He is waiting to run towards you. He doesn’t want you to live as a servant when you are a son or daughter. 

If your 'here and now' is not what you wanted it to be because of your own choice, then choose to come back. It’s never too late. God is patient with you. God is patient with his promises. He isn’t patient because of your behavior, He is patient because Love is patient -- and God is love. God loves you, that’s why you should come back. God wants you to live an abundant life with Him, but it’s never going to be abundant without Him.

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief." 2 Peter 3:9

This means God is waiting especially for you, and it also means don't wait another moment to follow Jesus. We don't know when Jesus will come back, and we have to live expectantly. We shouldn't procrastinate salvation and sanctification.

Even at the height of your life, without God, it means nothing. If God isn’t there, it has no value in the good or the bad. Yet, if God is there -- what is meant for evil is used for good and what is good is glorified. That is the promise of walking with God.

God has compassion for you: He understands why you made the choices you did, He understands the emotions, the life experiences, the pressure, the fears, and the reason why you did what you did. He doesn’t hold it against you, in fact, He uses what you went through to show you how good and forgiving and understanding He is. That nothing, even yourself, can separate God’s love for you.

Romans 8: 38-39

for I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Anything in all creation includes you. You cannot hold back God from loving you. Your choices. Your past. Your present situation. Your problems. Your sins. Your fears. Your anxieties. Your shame. Your indifference. Your hated. None of that keeps God away. 

When God has every right to be mad and give you exactly what you deserve, is the greatest moment of power and glory to extend love, kindness, compassion, and forgiveness because that is who He is. God is true to Himself. 

That’s the part of the story most of us know about, but I highlighted in green the portion on the older brother. The one who did what he was told. The one who stayed. The one who was obedient. He didn’t do anything wrong, but where was his party? 

That’s what I mean: sometimes you do what you’re told, you obey God, you walk with God, and then you wonder where’s your reward. You wonder why you don’t get celebrated. You don’t even get a small goat for you and your friends--

“God, I did everything you asked me to do. God, I lived for you. God, I prayed and read my Bible. God, why is my life like this?” To take it a step further, maybe you’re even suffering while you’ve listened and obeyed. 

The thing is, God doesn’t dole out His goodness based on our behavior. That’s where we’ll get tripped up. That’s where our theology struggles in our hearts. “We’re good people. We deserve good things.” What if I told you that the older brother was just as inwardly rebellious and indifferent as his younger brother. Maybe he didn’t do those things because he felt pressured, he felt self-righteous, or he thought of himself as better than that. 

God’s response (in blue) represents the overwhelming kindness of God to everyone. Even after his older son questions and criticizes the father for not giving his brother what he felt like his brother deserved, for not punishing the younger son to the elder son’s liking, God assures him of his inheritance too. One person’s blessing does not take away from ours. God’s goodness in someone else’s life is equal to the goodness in your life.

I mean it. Even if you lost your job and they got the promotion. Even if you are struggling to have a baby and they just had their fourth oopsie baby. Even if you’re going through a divorce and they just celebrated their 5th year anniversary.

God is good. Period.

That doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real. That doesn’t mean you can’t cry or pour your heart out. Your suffering is valid. Your difficulty isn’t negated. Your experience of life is counted. God is saving your tears. God’s goodness is even more tangible in those moments. We feel God closest, we know our need of God the most, and we seek out God the greatest in our misery. 

So, what does this have to do with anything? The purpose of this blog is plainly to accept where you are if where you are is where God has placed you. If you are somewhere you have placed yourself, then come back. If you are with God, and this is the season you’re in -- then I’m here to tell you and myself, that this was part of the plan.

Talk about a tough pill to swallow.

I feel God press it on my heart: "Grace, this is part of the plan." 

I have to tell myself that because this looks nothing like my plans. The plans I had for me were different. The outcome was different. The company was different. The feelings were different. For I knew the plans that I had for me. For I knew the plans I had for my life. 

It’s testing me and my faith to look around at the hurt in my situation, know that God is good, and then say these plans are good. I have my doubts too. I have my questions too. I have my disappointments too. I question if I really believe in what I say I believe in.

Living day by day, moment by moment, hand in hand with God is the only way I know how to get out of this tunnel. I don’t know how long there will be until I’m out. I don’t know what’s on the other side. I don’t even know what the next hour has in store for me, but I know my God who walks with me. I know the promises He has for me. I know the joy ahead. I know the surpassing glory to come.

I know it, but that’s not my current reality. That’s not my present experience. God, this is nothing like I pictured my life to be. The dream You gave me was beautiful and exciting, but now I wonder what it’ll take to get there -- if I’ll ever get there and maybe I never will be there. 

God can give us the dream, we can live in the dream, and it can feel different than what we expected. Even though it feels like here and now is where you give in and give up, I came to speak a word of encouragement over your life on behalf of God: keep going.

Listen, going back won’t bring you anywhere either. We have to weigh our options. Sometimes going back isn’t even an option, so we can either deny our present reality or we keep going. God will make your suffering worthwhile. God will make something beautiful out of the fire. God will take what was broken and restore and renew it -- but you, your job is to stick it out until it happens.

Here and now will not always be. 

The thing about the dream is that God won’t make you see it out. God respects you too much to force you to even experience good things. God can present to you the best option possible, and He still gives you full reign and authority to turn away from it. It’s hard when your dream was something you were onboard with and it was someone else’s choice to end, regardless of why.

“God, but I chose the dream. I wanted it to happen.”

But the dream wasn’t yours alone. It was a picture of what could’ve been if both people chose to see it out. Just like in a marriage, God can give you a picture of a happy, godly marriage -- but everyday you choose to forgive, you choose to not hold onto bitterness, you choose to love, you choose to communicate, and you choose to fight for not fight against the dream. God gives you the picture to show you that it’s worth it, but it’s up to you to decide if it’s worth it. 

The hard part is that it’s out of your control if your partner chooses to or not. You have no say whether they’ll fight or stay or leave or give up. You can choose the dream, you can say it’s worth it, but they have to be onboard. It’s not a one man job: relationships. 

The thing is you’ll also have times you’ll want to call it quits or actually give up. You’ll have your doubts. Your dry seasons. Your lack of motivation. Some days you choose yourself over and over again. Sometimes you’re the one who says no to the dream.

The thing about God is that God finishes His work. God endures. God isn’t fed up or let down by trials. God doesn’t slow down because we weren’t faithful.

Philippians 1:6

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

You get to decide how finished you’ll be when you reach heaven. 0%. 20%. 50%. 70%. It’s like a bubble tea order. You get to decide how completed you’ll be before heaven, and the truth is that God won’t force that on you either. He’ll get you to 100% in the end because that was your choice when you believed in Jesus, but here on Earth, you get to decide how far along you’ll be.

Sometimes we think choosing God is hard, and it is hard, but is the other path ‘easier’? Well, it was what we wanted. Isn’t what we wanted ultimately: joy, love, faith, hope, peace, acceptance, endurance, satisfaction, and goodness? You won’t find that outside of God. 

The easier or self-driven choice only comes with counterfeits.

Joy is called happiness that comes and goes like the wind. Temporary. Changing. Based on how much you slept. How nice they were to you. If everything went your way.

The easier choice comes with a cheap version of love called lust or infatuation that doesn’t die to itself but dies when we aren’t at the center. It’s why most people get divorced and a majority of the rest aren’t together out of love and we all have goals to be ‘happily married’ when happiness is just cheap joy. 

The easier choice comes with optimism not hope, ‘it’ll be okay’ not ‘God will take what was meant for evil and use it for good’. 

The easier choice comes with acceptance with conditions. “If you do this for me, then I’ll be happy with you. If you treat me like this, then I’ll be kind to you. If you do what I want, then maybe I’ll do the same if I want to.” You get all these ‘add-ons’ because it’s unending. You can’t have true acceptance with conditions, and unconditional acceptance only comes from Jesus.

The easier choice doesn’t come with endurance because what you’re fighting for isn’t deep or rooted enough to keep going. Then, when you do give up, you’ll have nothing to show for it. With God, everything we do counts and matters. For the easier choice, it only counts and matters if you got what you were going for, and even then it’s not worth anything in the end. God is different. God will never let anything you do for Him be in vain.

Satisfaction. You will never feel satisfied outside of God. What God wanted for you was life-giving. It was streams of living water. It wasn’t just filling but abundant. It was overflowing. That was the kind of dream God had for you. In this world, the easier choice will leave you hungry for more. You will take bites and be left hungrier. You will drink and like salt water be left thirster. You will sleep and be more tired. God dreamed of more for you.

Goodness is God. God’s goodness is the comfort He gives when you go through suffering and disappointments. God’s goodness is when He restores the brokenness and hurts. God’s goodness can come packaged in pain only to reveal greater glory. God’s goodness is unstoppable. It is a force. It is not something you can replicate. The good in this world is worthless compared to the surpassing treasure of Jesus.

Does the easier choice sound easy? Was that what you wanted? 

I can’t go back anymore. It just doesn’t exist as a possibility in my mind not to choose God. Why would I want to be worse off? Why would I want to choose the easier choice to forsake everything that makes life worth living for? I’ll always have pain - but why would I choose pain without purpose? I’ll always have troubles - but why would I choose to not let Jesus overcome? I’ll always be disappointed - but why would I not turn my trust and hope towards Jesus?

Being with God is the easier choice. Not in the sense that I’m always happy, but I’ll have joy. Not in the sense that everything will go my way, but I’ll have peace. Not in the sense that everyone will like me or I’ll never be rejected, but I’ll have an even deeper acceptance. Not that I’ll always succeed or be first, but I’ll always finish strong. Not that I’ll always be liked or wanted or chosen, but I’ll always be loved.

It is worth choosing to stick it out in the here and now because God will make it worth it. God will give you what you need. God will make a way. God will make it happen. God will be your God. God will be your friend. God will be your comfort. God will be God. So, that means you can be you.

It might not be the best situation right now.

You might be crying. You might be sad. You might be lost.

The Lord is with you.

“How is that comforting, Grace?”

Have you ever loved someone? What you desire most is their presence. What will give you the greatest joy isn’t their gifts, their nice words, pictures of them, memories of them, or thoughts of them. It’s their presence here and now that we get to experience even in the midst of our pain, in the middle of our weeping, and that closeness is what God gives us.

Jesus. 

I love learning the meaning of names. Names are powerful. Names are hopes. Names are promises. Names are dreams we have.

Jesus, his name is Emmanuel which means the Lord is with us. God saw our greatest need: it was to be with Him. That’s why Jesus came. That’s why Jesus died. That’s why He rose again. To fulfill our greatest need to be with God.

In this season, in my hurt, God is with me. God is with you.

The dream might not look like everything you pictured it to be.

Maybe God did tell you to do ministry and you pictured this fulfilling life of adventure. You dreamed of changing the world and sharing the gospel, but there’s no supporters. Maybe your parents are berating you for ‘wasting’ your college degree. Maybe you’re watching your friend earn 6 figures at the job you just left.

Maybe God did tell you to date that person and you pictured getting married, and now they’re gone. Maybe the relationship left you confused about God's plans for your life. Maybe you did everything you could and that’s the hardest part to accept.

Maybe God did tell you to forgive that person and you pictured the reconciled relationship, but they don’t even want to be forgiven. Maybe they reject it. Maybe they’re even worse than before.

Maybe God did let your parents get divorced and you pictured them getting over their differences to be a happy family. Maybe you prayed and cried and fasted for their reconciliation, and God still allowed them to separate. Maybe you thought you wouldn’t have to grow up in a broken family.

Where’s God in this? Where is the favor? Where is the blessing? Where is the promise? Because maybe God did promise you something, and you have the receipt but the package hasn’t been delivered. Maybe there’s delays. Maybe you tried contacting the seller, and there’s no response. Maybe you feel scammed.

In the sermon series, Living the Dream - Is It What You Expected?, we learn that favor follows faithfulness. Faith comes first. That’s the part that’s hard. That’s the payment we need to receive the blessing. It’s not card, cash, or Venmo. It’s faith. Faith means that you believe before you see it happen. 

Faith means stepping out of the boat like Peter did, into the water before you know you won’t sink. Faith means serving in a ministry that looks like it’s dying when God told you there would be revival. Faith looks like dating that person not knowing how it’ll go but knowing God’s plans for good will be fulfilled. Faith looks like forgiving before that person is sorry. Faith looks like loving both your parents well while praying for their marriage to be reconciled.

Faith looks like seeing the blessing like in the here and now. It won’t look like what you wanted it to. Maybe it won’t be to your liking or on your timing or the way you would’ve wanted it to play out. Know that it’s happening as God had allowed for it to happen according to His good purposes in your life and in theirs.

“As you do what you can do, God will do what only He can do.”

Here and now means doing what you can do. It means praying and continually seeking out ministry partners. It means accepting the loss of the relationship and seeking out God’s presence and comfort. It means forgiving that person everyday and for every offense. It means letting your parents go their separate ways and asking God to heal the brokenness and how you can be a peacemaker.

Then, you let God do His part.

We want to do God’s part, but that’s where we get frustrated. We can’t get the supporters we need. We can’t get the relationship back. We can’t get the other person to be sorry. We can’t bring our family together. 

When did God ask you to do that? 

When was that your burden? 

Be faithful where you are found. 

Accept the here and now as a season, as a gift, as a pruning for the better to come. We’re in such a rush to see the future God has planned for us, we won’t let Him prepare us for it. 

God is a giver of good gifts. He won’t withhold good things from us, but even good things have their season and timing. God knows what we want, and He gives us what we need until what we want is Him. Then, if He gives us what we want, it’ll never be what we need. 

That is what there here and now teaches us: that what we need and want is God with us. Forever and Amen.

Prayer:

Dear God,

I just pray on behalf of everyone reading that you help us discern our circumstances. Help us to see your goodness. Help us to see how we have fallen astray from Your good plans or to see if this is part of Your good plans. God, we ask that we wouldn’t rush through our seasons, our Saturdays, because we know that when Sunday comes we’ll be so overwhelmed by the goodness that we’ll forget all the hard work, the suffering, and tears it took to get there. Yet, it will all be worth it. Jesus, You are the ultimate prize, and everything we do for You will always be worth it.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Watch:

Living The Dream // Is It What You Expected? // The Paradox of Purpose // Charles Metcalf

Read Part 5: Don’t Stop Dreaming: the Promise of Jesus (day 5/7) - Blog # 31

Read Part 6: Renewed and Refreshed: Guided by God (day 6/7) - Blog # 32

Read Part 7: Have More Grace (day 7/7) - Day # 33