What’s next?
It’s been a question and a prayer that’s plagued me. What’s next? What do You have in store, God? What good do You have for those who love You who have been called according to Your purposes (Romans 8:28)? This season has been full of good and bad, happy and sad, and just these gray in-between.
If you know me, you’ll know I hate waiting. On lines. For the bathroom. For grades. I'm a faux patient person. I can grit my teeth and smile for an hour. Maybe two. A day even. Doesn’t Amazon Prime have two-day shopping now? I’m patient when I know there’s an end. I know what I’m waiting for. I know what’s coming to me when I’m done waiting, and I know I’ll be done waiting.
Recently, I have been wondering a lot. When will I be done waiting? What am I even waiting for? Do I want my heart to change? Do I want the situation to change? It’s hard to wait when I don’t know what’s at the end of the line. I don’t have a rough estimate of how long it’ll take for me to get to the end. I don’t know when I’ll be able to say that I’m even done waiting.
I’m standing open handed, and I’m vulnerable because I don’t know if what I want is the same thing as what I need. I’m vulnerable because I left my hands open before and I got burned. I’m vulnerable because I’m not letting that no, that failure, that rejection, or that closed door stop me from coming back and waiting for what God has promised me.
I really love this verse from Isaiah 55, ““For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:8-11
Let’s break it down together.
God’s thoughts aren’t our thoughts.
This means that what I think is best for my life and when I think it’s best aren’t aligned with reality. I think I know when I want things to happen. I think that if I get what I want then I’ll be a happier person! I’ll be a better person. Better friend, daughter, doctor, etc.
I think I know better than God. I know what I need. I know the best way to get it too. If only God could see how I see. If only God knew how much more godly I would be if I got “the thing”. The elusive object of my desires would complete me, fulfill me- wait, isn’t that what Jesus offers us? Completion. Everlasting water that never leaves us thirsty again. Godliness. Isn’t Jesus not only the best way but the only way to eternal life?
Huh. “My thoughts are not your thoughts.” Maybe God knows a thing or two…
God’s ways are never our ways.
I would never send Jesus as a baby. You cough on a baby and they die. There’s even an illness: Sudden Infant Death syndrome. That’s terrifying: the thought that there’s a disease where you just suddenly die. Vulnerable. Babies are vulnerable. Have you ever thought of God as vulnerable?
If someone asked you to describe God, would “vulnerable” be in your top 10, 50, 100 words? It wouldn’t be in mine because I don’t see vulnerability as a strength. It sounds stupid to me to trust and believe and be disappointed. It’s embarrassing to love someone who doesn’t want to love you or be with you. It sounds shameful to be rejected again and again. To have the door slam in your face. The no. They look away. The hand pushed off. The pain. Why would anyone ever think that being vulnerable would be good?
Yet, God is vulnerable with us. He’s so sappy! He wrote this whole book for you. Some people make photo albums. Some people take Polaroid photos. God, His love story is written and being played out as we speak. God offers Himself first, showing His love first, and saying it proudly: I love you. I want to be with you. Forever. Do you feel the same?
I say no all the time because God’s love doesn’t feel that good. Not as good as what I wanted at least. Not as good as they make me feel. That’s what it seems like at least. For a while. And God stands there, still waiting, still offering. Wouldn’t you call that person foolish?
Bearing your heart so openly? Brazenly? Recklessly? That’s the kind of love God has for us. Love that’s wasted. Love that waits. Love that goes first.
Love that gets rejected and doesn’t force itself but waits on the objects of its affection. Me- I am the object of God’s affections. God has been waiting for me even when I run after this world. I don't get why God would do that, but I’m so glad He does. I’m so glad that God is vulnerable first. I’m so glad that God’s ways are not my ways.
I wouldn’t die for ungrateful people. I would consider dying for grateful people. I would die for the people I love the most who have already loved me and would do the same. God’s not like that. God’s not like me.
I wouldn’t give up my son especially. Nothing would be worth my child. No one would be good enough for his life. Yet, God’s perfect son was willingly sacrificed for us on a cross. To bear our sin and shame. To take our debts and all the interest. To give us a hope and future. Nothing for him to gain out of it besides love. I would never give my son to anyone, but God gave His one and only beloved son that whoever believes in him shall never perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). God’s ways are why I’m even here. Why I can pray. Why I can sing. Why I’m not ending my story as broken, rejected, unloved, unwanted, or uncared for. I get to live my life as a princess. I get to have a relationship with the best Dad in the world! A King among kings. A Lord of lords. That’s my God!
I would never do what God did by giving up his son, but I’m glad God’s not like me because you wouldn’t be here either. You wouldn’t know how much God loves you because if I were God I would’ve left and stayed gone.
God’s ways are higher like the heavens are higher than the earth.
On Earth, we inflate the importance of trinkets and papers that read “Bachelors” scrawled. On Earth, we see only with earthly eyes. We see the natural world, and we deny that God made such complex designs. We say that a black hole formed life. We’d rather say that; that something came from nothing than say something came from God. So, when I pray, I’m garnering heavenly support and getting heavenly inspiration. So when I read the Bible, I’m understanding the bigger picture.
God’s word will never fail to guide us. God’s word will never fail to come to pass. Think about how every single one of the prophetic words about Jesus came true. Birth location. Where he would grow up. Where he would live. What family he would come from. How he would die. How he would rise. All of it marked thousands upon thousands of years before his birth. He couldn’t have done all those things if He wasn’t in control.
God is in control. He’s in control of your parents’ marriage. He’s in control of the medical emergency. He’s in control of the rejection letter. He’s in control when the bank account number dips into the red zone and you pay overdraft fees too. He’s in control when the kids won’t stop screaming. He’s in control when your marriage is falling apart. He’s in control when life feels nothing but out of control.
God allowed it: so it must be for good.
Simple. True.
God allowed it: so it must be for good.
I didn’t say God caused it. God didn’t cause the sin, the break up, or the bad news. God also didn’t make it happen. God didn’t make them hurt you. God didn’t make you choose them either. God didn’t force anyone to do anything they didn’t decide in their own hearts first.
God didn’t stop them because if He stopped everyone every time they did something wrong no one would do anything ever. God doesn’t always stop you from making the wrong choices sometimes. Isn’t that scary? I don’t think God leads disobedient children by holding them at the throat. I believe God knows that sometimes we make choices out of fear or shame or greed or pride. We make these choices and God is grieved even as He watches us.
He didn’t do that to us - to you. He wanted more. He wanted something greater than you imagined. Sometimes things don’t go exactly to our plans, but they go exactly as God has planned. Who has better plans? We have to come back to that time and time again. Who has better plans?
The natural realm and the spiritual realm follow laws
“As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
Jesus, during his earthly ministry, was able to convey messages about the spiritual realm by giving analogous stories to the physical realm. This happened when He talked about the kingdom of God being like a mustard seed: small and unassuming, but when it grew up it would be a large tree. Jesus told another story about a woman who asked for justice from an unrighteous judge who eventually gave into her requests because she had been so persistent, and in the same way but even greater, God is a righteous judge who loves us and if we are persistent -- He will answer us (read: an answer can be yes, no, or wait).
In this example, we recently had snow fall and as it came down to the earth it watered the earth: it accomplished its heavensent job. This is an example of how God’s Word works in our life. Like the snow waters the earth, it feeds the plants which produce not only ‘fruit’ or produce but seeds that multiple future yields. We have to remember that when the snow comes down onto the earth that it waters the plants, but the plant still needs time to absorb sunlight and nutrients. The plant needs time to grow and yield. When we read stories in the Bible that say Abraham got a promise from God and then 30 years later, within the next page, received his promise -- we don’t grasp the patience and persistence of faith. We see David anointed king, and within a few chapters he becomes king. We don’t understand the long-suffering wait and constant fear that tormented David for years as he waited for his promise.
Yet, like the snow, God’s word does not come back empty. It does not fail its task. It does not see obstacles or situations, get scared, and turn around. No, that’s us. That’s our words. That’s our promises. God’s promises are fortified.
Guys, God has spoken over your life specifically. I know this because He’s spoken over mine. God speaks everyday, we need to listen. We make God’s voice a background noise like those white noise machines. God’s voice becomes muffled in the sounds of our thoughts, her thoughts, his thoughts, our parents’ thoughts, the boss’ thoughts, the doctor’s thoughts, and the world’s thoughts. Do you pray but never wait for an answer?
Do you feel like God doesn’t answer? Doesn’t sound clear enough? He takes too long?
I’m right there with you! I’ve been badgering God’s door myself. I’ve been slumped at the door, wondering if God will answer, when He’ll answer, and how He’ll answer my prayers. But we can’t just pray and only obey when our prayers are answered. We need to obey before the prayers even look like they’ll be given a response. We need to obey because God is worthy of obedience because of His great love for us. Our obedience is not a condition of God’s submission to our desires. Our obedience is an act of the will to say “Lord, I don’t understand. I don’t feel good about it. I still will listen to you anyways.”
The truth is I’ve been pretty unresponsive to God while waiting for His responses to me, but I’ve decided that things have to change in me. It took me time. It took me prayers. It took me a lot of denial of my flesh. It’s still not perfect, but I’m moving forward.
What’s next? For me, it’s figuring out logistics like church and doing well in school. It’s loving my family. It’s being a good witness to my friends and classmates. It’s comforting my friends. It’s praying for the situation even if it looks like a dead end. It’s when I never stop knocking when God is faithful unto Himself to answer me. Not because I was so worthy or persistent. It’s because God is love and God loves me.
I’m excited/nervous. What’s next? Being faithful to what’s now.
I know God’s word will come to pass over my life. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know when it’ll come to pass until it happens. I am clueless -- the Bible says I’m in good company.
1 Cor 2:9 says “However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him—”
God is preparing something for me. God is preparing me! God is preparing people and situations. God is moving mountains. God is parting seas. God is not a God of “was” only. God didn’t only come for the past. God didn’t only come for the future either. God is here for every moment. You belong to Him. I belong to my Savior. So, God is going to take care of it. I don’t need to worry. Will I still worry? Yeah, and I’ll have to offer it on the altar again and again. Yet, I don’t need to worry.
God’s word is already unfolding over my life. This is the dream. This is the promise. This is not Plan B. This is the plan. I thought things would go my way, but God’s ways are not my ways -- they’re higher. So, God’s plans are better. God’s plans are greater. I have to surrender my self-will and understanding to God’s. I have to give in because holding on keeps me from keeping my hands open.
God, what do You want for me? God, what do You require of me? God, how can I make You happy? How can I partner in Your plans?
What’s next for me?
God will continue to fulfill his plans and purposes in my life. No one can stop besides me. And I say yes, God. I say yes to Your plans. I say yes to the dreams You have for me. I say yes to letting people go if that’s how I find more of You. I say yes to letting my plans die so Yours can live. I say yes. That’s what’s next for me.
I say yes to God's best for me even if it's tear-filled. I say yes to God because God says yes to me - yes I am loved, yes I am a child of God, yes I have good plans in store for my life, and yes God is for me.
Comments
Post a Comment