Last But Not Least: Prayer # 73

 Dear God,

In the moments of our needs, it’s so easy to be close to You. We look, we seek, we beg for Your presence to be near. But when the rain clouds roll away, when there’s blue in the sky and the sun is way up high, we find ourselves distant and almost resentful of You. The human heart and mind is so fickle, Lord. Teach us our need in the good times. Teach us to seek You on the sunny days. I don’t just want to be a fair-weather friend to You. You’re here for me all the time: rain or shine. 

Thank You for setting the bar so high.

Love,

Grace

While I’m writing this, it’s currently 10:52 PM on a Wednesday night. I've been furiously studying for my Ocular Disease 1 final (80 ish questions 2.5 hours) for tomorrow. I feel a pit in my stomach because I’m honestly nervous. I don’t know as much as I should know. I don’t feel confident in what I do know, and I’m curious if this is the beginning of third year or the end of my school career.

Dark thoughts, I know. I hope I look back on today with relief? I don’t know. I just need to pray, and I need to believe that God is going to take me through this one way or another. 

In that exam room, there’s 99 of my classmates, but I’m alone taking that exam. It’s just me and those fill-in the blanks that remind me how terrible my spelling is (I blame autocorrect for spoiling me). As I sit there, I’m not alone though. God is with me, encouraging me, reminding me it’s going to be okay no matter what, and He gives me the push to keep going even when all I want to do is give in and give up.

Tonight, in defiance of this 800-lb gorilla of an exam, I opened my Bible and spent time with God. As if 5 minutes of my day was any worthy prize, but it’s me trying. I find those 5 turn into 10 turn into 15 or maybe more minutes of me being enthralled by the story of Jesus, one little boy, an unclean spirit, and the boy’s father.

If you’re a church-goer, you've probably read “Jesus Heals the Boy with an Unclean Spirit”. Jesus is surrounded by this massive crowd of people, and they bring to him a young boy possessed by an evil spirit. Jesus is tired by this point, physically, mentally, and spiritually. He’s tired of the unbelief: that He’s not just some shaman healer, but He’s the real deal: Son of God. 

But the thing I love, admire, and respect about Jesus is that He doesn’t shy away from asserting who He is and He embraces us even when we don’t see Him. When we reject Jesus for who He is, Jesus doesn’t reject us.

It goes against the culture we live in then and now: you scratch my back, I scratch yours. You give, I give. Jesus says, you don’t see me but I will still see you. So, He asks the boy’s father how long this has been going on.

From Mark 9: 21-29

“From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”

“‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”

The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up.

After Jesus had gone indoors, his disciples asked him privately, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

He replied, “This kind can come out only by prayer.”

The father’s cry for help is an example of “blessed are those who are poor in spirit” from the Sermon on the Mount. He knows of his need so desperately. He wants help, but his request is more “Can you?” than “Will you?” 

I’m just like that. I go to God, nervous and not a teaspoon of faith in me, asking for help. 

“It would be nice if You could, but if You’re busy don’t worry about it.” 

It’s not to be confused with ‘let Your will be done’, but it’s “It doesn’t hurt to ask”. And it doesn’t hurt to ask, you’re right, but to have boldness in faith is not focusing on who we are to ask but on who we’re asking. Jesus rebukes the spirit who leaves the boy looking dead.

I wonder how many things Jesus will rebuke out of us that will leave us looking worse. You’d think he’d come out beaming or maybe glowing. Jesus constantly reminds us that out of death there can be life again. That the life before wasn’t a life we should be living, but the life after dying is better. 

When Jesus is finished, His disciples crowd Him with a little Q&A debrief. I was talking with my friends about this passage, and this question popped into my head. 

Why did Jesus tell them that this kind could only come out by prayer?

If I’m reading between the lines, correct me if I’m off the mark in heaven guys, but I think they didn’t pray. Maybe they said, “Come out, evil spirit! Leave this boy.” Maybe they laid hands on him. Who knows? But they didn’t pray, otherwise why did Jesus say that?

I think that this was a rude reminder for me that I don’t pray when there’s a situation in front of me. I’ll talk with my friends, my mom, and maybe look up a Reddit thread. Talking with God, if it ever comes to mind, it’s honestly last.

That’s what struck me. Even the people walking, talking, and rubbing shoulders with Jesus didn’t resort to prayer first or even last. Actually, this was the boy’s first time being prayed for. Not just for this condition. Ever. 

Last but not least: prayer. I’m sure this wasn’t the first thing his dad or family ever tried doing for him. But it was the only thing that would work. 

Sometimes, God is our last but not least option. When we tried to figure it out by ourselves. We manipulated things. We attempted it at a different angle. We said all the right stuff. We did everything the experts told us to do. 

Sometimes, when we’re hurting, we go to everyone but God. We go to our family. We go to a therapist. We go to church. We go to everyone, but we have a friend in Jesus. Jesus, He chooses to be our almighty comforter. 

I know when I’m hurt, I spread the hurt. I’m bleeding, and my doctor isn’t going to be another injured person. If they try to help me while they’re hurting or if I try to help them while I’m injured, we’ll both just make things worse.

Just as I am, Jesus finds me broken, and He takes His time to heal me. Every piece takes time, and it’s uncomfortable because healing feels unnatural. We don’t know life outside of dysfunction. 

But Jesus didn’t come to make life better for us. To help you become the best version of ourselves is to place Jesus as a self-help guru. Jesus came to save us, and He saves us from ourselves. 

Jesus, light in the darkness, He hears the cries of help in our heart we didn’t even know existed. He heard the prayers we didn’t know we were praying. He answers the father’s obvious request: help my son. But He goes beyond that and answers the father’s hurting: help me believe. 

Sometimes we come to God asking for others, and we should ask for others. Yet, when we come we realize how deep our own needs have been. We see the lack of faith. We see the doubts. We see the fear and desperation that drove us where we are. 

We see them, and God sees them and He sees us. He sees it all, and we get to encounter that peace and healing through prayer. We have the gifting and privilege of prayer. We discount it all the time, but it’s worth its weight in gold. Treasure that’s intangible. That’s what prayer is.