[Book Reflections - Emotionally Healthy Spirituality] Boundaries & Resting in God is Faith in Action - Blog # 18
Rest = mindless scrolling through Instagram, Tiktok, and watching Youtube
Rest = spending 30 minutes trying to find something to watch on Netflix and hating what you end up watching
Rest = sleeping until noon only to find yourself at midnight wondering what you did the whole day
When I read the book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero, I wrote a book reflection on how there were times I felt pressure from myself to be doing more than God had asked me to do. If I had the space in my schedule, wasn’t it wrong for me to say no? I wrote that blog post near the end of March, and now almost three and a half months later, the journey of rest and boundaries continues.
I’ve read EHS two times now, and both times I have willfully skipped over Chapter 6 “Discover the Rhythms of the Daily Office and Sabbath” because…
I like to work. My passion is to serve and do. It’s how I receive love and how I view love: acts of service. Godly, purposeful rest feels unfamiliar to me.
I am working on dismantling my Savior Complex. I look around and see the need in the world, in people that I love, and I feel like it’s wrong for me to see their need and do nothing about it. In a way that’s true, but I should not be serving out of a place where I feel like God needs me because He’s helpless in this situation.
As I grow up, I realize there are so many things I didn’t know you had to learn how to do.
Resting seems like something you shouldn’t have to learn, master, and be proactive about, but something else I realize is there is true freedom in boundaries set in place by God. Boundaries give us freedom, ironically, because it’s not freeing to be in places of burden, danger, and extreme indulgence.
It is not freedom to give a child full access to a house, but it is freedom for them to be given an area that is safe, supervised, and filled with activities and opportunities for them to experience and enjoy themselves. They can read books or play with their blocks or draw or watch Cocomelon, no activity is better than the other, it’s just their personal preference and the freedom to pursue those activities within boundary-defined spaces makes it more enjoyable.
How do we create these intentional spaces of rest then?
Understand and appreciate your limits
A running theme in my life is to be humbled by my weakness, my lacking, and my inability to do it all and be it all. It’s not a shameful thing to recognize because I have Jesus who is strong, overflowing in abundance, and able to do it all and be it all for me.
A child should not feel ashamed for being unable to drive, for example, but they can trust their loving parent to be capable and ready to take them to places they need to go in the right timing and method.
I don’t like to rest because it reminds me of my inability to be self-sufficient. It kills the pride I have in my heart to be the Lord and Shepherd over myself. I want to be God rather than to be with God.
Define rest
Something I was talking about with my staff was what rest looks like for me can be more draining than restful. I picture resting as sleeping in, getting on my phone the moment I wake up, and staying in bed for another hour until I’m hungry. I end up wasting my day in a way that I didn’t enjoy or I feel guilty for not working instead.
I’m in the process of learning how to rest consistently, once a week, and taking part in Sabbath instead of waiting until I’m way too burnt out.
Rest for me looks like:
Spending time with God in the morning
Journaling
Making a yummy fruit smoothie
Eating something delicious
Reading a book thoroughly
Taking a walk with my dog Angel
Doing my skincare routine in a relaxed way (with as many steps as possible)
For other people it might look like hanging out with friends, going on a trip, baking, painting, or calling a loved one. All of these methods are valid and it just depends on the person.
I think rest is something I saw as inactivity when in reality it is part of living an active life to its fullest. Rest is not laziness or doing nothing, but it is restoring our mind, body, and soul to do good work for the rest of the week.
Prepare for your rest
As I reflect on how a truly restful day feels like, it’s funny to think about preparing for it.
If you hate doing the dishes or cooking, then this might be the day for you to use disposable utensils and premake dishes or order in. Everyone’s budget and preferences are different, some people find a lot of rest in cooking or making their favorite dish.
I think preparing can also look like preparing for the day after your rest day. If you have Sunday as your rest day, then do all the laundry, pack your bags for your Monday morning, and do all your work in advance so that you’re prepared for whatever Monday brings.
This is so that when you rest on Sunday, for example, you don’t feel unprepared for the next day ahead. You also don’t have to feel that guilt of resting either because of the preparation you did before.
Schedule your rest
My staff gave me a sample of how his rest days look like, and it helped me to visualize how I would want to spend my own days of rest.
Resting that is intentional can have a flexible schedule:
9:30 AM Wake up & Bible Study
10:30 AM Eat Breakfast
12:30 PM Exercise
2:30 PM Journal
5:30 PM Walk my Dog
7:30 PM Shower & Skincare
10:30 PM Sleep
Of course I probably end up sleeping at 1-2AM knowing me, but that’s just my goal that I hope to work towards in having a restful rest day.
Spend time with God and enjoy your life
Rest comes from...being in God’s presence. Knowing that you are fully loved and taken care of is when you can rest and not feel the need to be doing anything in order to be loved or taken care of.
During this time, the day can be filled with thankfulness as we reflect on how God has been present. We can be thankful for the people in our lives, the places we have been in, and the life we now live thanks to Jesus.
Take a few moments to be still and then take a few more just to sink into gratitude.
Repentance & Boundaries
Our rest day or lack of rest day is a reminder of how much we rely on ourselves and not God. We are constantly struggling to listen to God or this world on how to live. I know people who work 7 days a week, and full days at that, and I’m not sure I’m any different. I might not be clocking in, but I’m not relying on God to be my provider or my helper. I’m trusting in myself to carry out my plans and my life, and it takes a continual life of repentance to work on.
It’s a time for me to repent on how little I trust God, and I can remind myself that God is the One in control and I can let Him lead my life.
Boundaries are important too. Of course we can serve on Sundays, but it shouldn’t be an overwhelming burden that causes us to feel tension and resentment. We need to be honest with ourselves about our need for rest and how that looks while living busy lives.
Ending Note:
Today’s blog was very chill because I’m feeling super chill myself, and I wanted to really lean into resting in God to prepare for this very busy season coming up in my life. I think there is so much joy in rest, and it’s a new way for me to honor and love God well by acknowledging my limits.
I hope you all have a great weekend/week, and take into practice one of the ways I mentioned to have a more restored and restful time with God!
Love,
Grace
Additional Reading:
3 THINGS TO HELP YOU FIND REST IN GOD
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